I've been challenged

I've been challenged... I don't really do New Year's Resolutions, but I've been thinking how the New Year is the perfect time for me to make some changes I need to make in my spiritual walk.

As many of you know, the first few years with kiddos can be totally insane and all about them! Add in a job like I've got (a 24/7/365 type job) and a wonderful husband, that's a recipe for staying too busy to take time to work on my walk with my Abba Father. I'm almost ashamed to admit how much my personal walk with God has taken a back seat to all the other "stuff" that is going on. That's why they say if the Devil can't have you then he'll make you too busy. Me - Case in point.

This last year has had some really high moments, hello Dylan joined our crazy house and our daily joy, Mackenzie continued to entertain us! And some really rough ones, my 3rd grandparent died from cancer in as many years, and I can't begin to explain the stress of Brian's old job.

BUT God carried us thru all the highs and all the lows! It's in the in-between moments, when everything is ok that I tend to stop taking the time. Do I pray during the day? Yep. Do we go to church? Yep. Do we teach our kids about our faith? Yep. Do we listen to KLove all the time? Yep. Did I take regular time out of my daily schedule to develop my personal walk with Christ? Nope. (Ouch that's painful to type... As I sit here reading this, it breaks my heart)

Here's the big BUT, I'm not doing all of those things to just go thru the motions, because they really do mean something to me... BUT I am not doing ALL I should be doing! I'm not concentrating on my daily walk with my Abba Father that will help me grow and develop into a better wife, mother, employee, friend, and many other things. If I take the time for this one thing, then all else will be even better because God will bless it!

Another but... But I'm scared! What am I scared of? The fact that I'll just say that I'm going to do it, but not do it again! I've been trying to get back to where I need to be for a while, but guess what. Not there! Not even close. I feel like I commit to it, and mean it with all my heart, and then nope the "stuff" happens again! And again I feel like a failure.

I pray with all my heart and soul that this time will be different, that I won't let the "stuff" overwhelm me again! That Brian and I can both deepen our spiritual walk seperately and in turn strengthen our walk together! Father God, give me the desires of my heart! To know you and follow you with all of my heart!

My sweet friend Ashley blogged not to long ago about the Siesta Scripture Memory Team that started on January 1st. When I read her post I felt like I got kicked in the gut! I thought this could be what I need to help keep me on track!! I just couldn't get it out of my head, yet the "stuff" kept happening! But tonight I finally took the time, and pray that I can keep my committment to follow thru with it all year!

You learn 24 verses in 12 months, and it's supposed to be a verse that's relevant to YOU not somebody else or what you think somebody else needs to learn... so here's my first verse. It's a little painful to relate it to me, but again, I'm trying to be honest with myself...

So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.

Revelation 3:16 NAS

I'm excited to see where this year takes me personally, as a wife, as a mother, and as a friend, but most importantly as a child of God. I pray that the progress I see from this painful verse #1 to verse #24 is a journey filled with growth and joy. If I let my Abba Father lead the way, how can it not be?


Note:
It's crazy how God works... I mentioned to Brian before I started the post above, how I was thinking about the changes I need to make in my personal walk. And while I was writing the post, he texted me two passages of scripture. (Yep from across the room) They were both special, but this one really fit perfectly.

1 LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.


2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in the darkness
like those long dead.


4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.


5 I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.


6 I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land.[a]

7 Answer me quickly, LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.


9 Rescue me from my enemies, LORD,
for I hide myself in you.


10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

11 For your name’s sake, LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.


12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

Psalm 143

Thank you Father for speaking to me thru my husband.